I don't have the strength to Lovingly craft any words right now, especially considering Margarita perfectly conveys how I feel since discovering you after your first SS IG post (forgot your initial IG name that you had to give up/so much forgetting lately) thanks to a mutual account I follow that follows you.
Except that I want to live to accept it all. Accept that I have built a life that I thought I Love & I am just now realizing that I both Love & hate.
That I can accept that I have more people in my life that I do not like, but that I genuinely Love despite not liking them all.
That I am absolutely fucking terrified I am never going to have anyone in my tangible life who feels & shares the way that we do here & on your IG (despite the fact that touch is my #1 value) & that I am just going to have to accept digital touch being enough even though it is not.
I am so sad & angry. So lonely in a tiny pond of people. Finally feeling everything (no more numbing out) & even though I hate it, I somehow know underneath all the fucking relentless doubt that Feeling it All is serving me in some ways I just cannot see/comprehend right now.
And more but I need to blow my nose & roll my naked body back over into the sunlight on this deck & listen to your next substack.
I Like Y'all. I want to Love Y'all. You have my Love anyways because I genuinely believe we are all One. I hate so much right now. Thank you for like I am finding with subliminal shift 👣💞💫👣💞💫👣💞💫
Jan 16, 2023·edited Jan 16, 2023Liked by sierra mcdaniel
Dear Sierra,
Your way of writing hits so deep. When I accidentally found myself on your instagram page I was pulled in in an instant. It's like your frequency goes very deep into my cells and activates something ancient in a simple way. I love very much how you write and weave the complexity of our physical vessel and emotional waters together and how our mind tries to intervene and corrupt this natural symbiosis. This article uprooted so much within me, being on my own personal journey of deconstructing and de-conditioning the outdated and toxic construct of success.
This parts are beyond words..... literally touched me so deep in recognition that I teared up feeling so seen.
"I’ve been playing -and by playing I mean battling- with the binary of success and failure in my life, in my current cycle of living in this weird matrix called reality. It’s an implanted weed in the garden of my subconscious that has been asking to be plucked. But in actuality, the weeds in the gardens require no such thing, they require to co-exist with the poppies and daisies of my mind, the pretty positives in my life that check the box of achievement. A dual (literally) that has plagued me and has also contributed to the fire that has lit me up to get shit done my whole life. Not necessarily for other people but for the idea of them- the idea of their approval, their “good girl” pat on the back that has trained me in the hamster wheel of accomplishment."
"Self-doubt is the spiral into infinite possibilities. To see the distortion of your energy and uncover the factuality of the situation at play. The doubt that activates you to the peak of shutting it all down. That is the message of a special gland that gives you the spark to actually do it all."
"It’s this reboot of the mental computer that can give you access to the rebirth being called into this experience. The totally needed shift out of this binary success/failure that allows you to enter the other side."
Thank you so much Sierra for YOU, everything you are, I see you and I am very grateful to have you share all your wisdom here with us. I appreciate your authenticity, transparency, vulnerability and beauty in all of it so so much.
I don't have the strength to Lovingly craft any words right now, especially considering Margarita perfectly conveys how I feel since discovering you after your first SS IG post (forgot your initial IG name that you had to give up/so much forgetting lately) thanks to a mutual account I follow that follows you.
Except that I want to live to accept it all. Accept that I have built a life that I thought I Love & I am just now realizing that I both Love & hate.
That I can accept that I have more people in my life that I do not like, but that I genuinely Love despite not liking them all.
That I am absolutely fucking terrified I am never going to have anyone in my tangible life who feels & shares the way that we do here & on your IG (despite the fact that touch is my #1 value) & that I am just going to have to accept digital touch being enough even though it is not.
I am so sad & angry. So lonely in a tiny pond of people. Finally feeling everything (no more numbing out) & even though I hate it, I somehow know underneath all the fucking relentless doubt that Feeling it All is serving me in some ways I just cannot see/comprehend right now.
And more but I need to blow my nose & roll my naked body back over into the sunlight on this deck & listen to your next substack.
I Like Y'all. I want to Love Y'all. You have my Love anyways because I genuinely believe we are all One. I hate so much right now. Thank you for like I am finding with subliminal shift 👣💞💫👣💞💫👣💞💫
Dear Sierra,
Your way of writing hits so deep. When I accidentally found myself on your instagram page I was pulled in in an instant. It's like your frequency goes very deep into my cells and activates something ancient in a simple way. I love very much how you write and weave the complexity of our physical vessel and emotional waters together and how our mind tries to intervene and corrupt this natural symbiosis. This article uprooted so much within me, being on my own personal journey of deconstructing and de-conditioning the outdated and toxic construct of success.
This parts are beyond words..... literally touched me so deep in recognition that I teared up feeling so seen.
"I’ve been playing -and by playing I mean battling- with the binary of success and failure in my life, in my current cycle of living in this weird matrix called reality. It’s an implanted weed in the garden of my subconscious that has been asking to be plucked. But in actuality, the weeds in the gardens require no such thing, they require to co-exist with the poppies and daisies of my mind, the pretty positives in my life that check the box of achievement. A dual (literally) that has plagued me and has also contributed to the fire that has lit me up to get shit done my whole life. Not necessarily for other people but for the idea of them- the idea of their approval, their “good girl” pat on the back that has trained me in the hamster wheel of accomplishment."
"Self-doubt is the spiral into infinite possibilities. To see the distortion of your energy and uncover the factuality of the situation at play. The doubt that activates you to the peak of shutting it all down. That is the message of a special gland that gives you the spark to actually do it all."
"It’s this reboot of the mental computer that can give you access to the rebirth being called into this experience. The totally needed shift out of this binary success/failure that allows you to enter the other side."
Thank you so much Sierra for YOU, everything you are, I see you and I am very grateful to have you share all your wisdom here with us. I appreciate your authenticity, transparency, vulnerability and beauty in all of it so so much.
Love,
Margarita
Right on time and landing perfectly as always, deep gratitude.