I’ve been being a human.
I’ve been kissing the nectar that is my limitation and not needing to bear fruit with each soul lesson as quickly as possible.
I’ve been enjoying my flaws more than ever.
I’ve been wine-tasting the spirit of my trial and error.
There’s a dance here with my control and my submission to losing it all.
Losing my mind (yay).
Losing my need to change.
Losing my craving to save you or any being for that matter.
Losing my agility in maintaining face.
Losing my cringe at disappointing others because my God, I do that on the daily.
Losing my fantasies of becoming anything else than who she is currently.
Losing my grip on anything outside of who this person is.
Who this current version tends to be.
Tendency is a fluid state.
I’ve been fixed.
My humanness has been neutered recently.
This current me cancels last minute frequently.
Honestly, all my versions are so flaky- I’m finally okay with eating them like a warm French pastry.
This current me drowns in commitment.
This current me could give two shits about my attachment style or what karma I’m creating.
This current me is rapidly shifting what she likes and what she doesn't.
This Sierra is not proving to be a good human because I am a spectrum.
I am all of you.
I am human.
There is a serene oddity to allowing yourself to gain full access to this human quality.
There is a deep sigh in the hollows of your tissues when you accept.
Acceptance is the infrastructure.
I was given “allowance” as a child in the form of a reward.
An exchange of doing something for the sake of monetary gain.
I’ve been trained to view allowance as something transactional versus multi-dimensional.
Allowance is not give and take, it is simply present and ever-lasting.
There is a magical trail of breadcrumbs that appear when you accept each moment as it is- without needing to change it.
Breathe.
Pause.
You don’t need to change this.
The change in your pocket is not necessary for what you are trying to purchase.
Consider what you seek as energy.
It does not require you to pull out your wallet or to bend your knees.
What it does require is honest inventory.
And that right there, is the groundwork of hugging that humanness.
Being so utterly raw with how you are feeling that it allows you to naturally transmute.
There is this really funny thing we do where we try to move through something by not actually feeling it through.
We are energetic surgeons.
Don’t forget that we are always unconsciously not giving ourselves consent in bypass surgery.
Bypassing is an epidemic.
An inner medical malfunction.
I truly believe it is the root cause of it all.
You can leave the system.
Your system.
All this talk about breaking down corrupt institutions and embedded societal networks but not dissolving our own.
If we are to be in coherence with the future of a beaming, beautiful planet, we must also face the chaos within ourselves.
It resides in me and you.
We too are the politicians terrorizing the autonomy of our soul.
It sounds barbaric (which is entirely delicious at this point), but perhaps just being you and all the defects that come with it is the liberation.
Defects as in pieces to the divinity in your totality.
I’m not who I thought I was just a couple of days ago.
I’m not the person I dreamed of being ten years ago.
I’m not the person my mental complex wants me to be and that is an indicator that I’m becoming embodied.
In the body, out of the mind.
My mind wants nothing to do with my shortfalls yet my body is starving of that type of nutrition.
Not accepting humannes is the deficiency.
I’ve had it backward all along.
No amount of functional blood testing can assure you of the vitamins and minerals you absorb from being everything you are.
Being all of you is a dangerous thing.
It requires a risk, one where you allow someone to witness everything you wish to conceal.
My life isn’t an inflamed pimple anymore.
No longer playing human hide and seek.
I am the most spiritual at the height of being the most human.
My “higher self” can’t go any higher than where she is.
She’s right here.
Stop.
Blink.
You’re missing out on her medicine if you think she’s anywhere but here.
She only expands when this version right here goes with her.
Come back to that raw utter honesty.
Be in that mud because we all feel the lotus underneath.
I’m showing up as I am.
Not who I aspire to be.
Thank you for witnessing.
xo
Sierra
SPIRIT HOLDING ☽
a one-month container in service of your human form
what you receive //
2 bi-weekly calls with two potent ass subconscious protocols surrounding (1) a body part you have disowned and becoming that energetic surgeon to have a self-love-transplant (2) a timeline session where we go back to your conception (remember, the subconscious does not know the difference between the past & present) and re-integrate self-worth in all stages of your life
humanwork (what I call homework)
weekly voxer communication with me for interaction and coaching (it’s like having voice memos together right in your back pocket)
energy exchange //
$500 USD for the entire one-month container
It is a pivotal time to be held & seen ⌇ I would be honored to be that person for you in this season.
I have 4 spots open for October.
Love you ◯
such poetry as always !