february is for screaming

꩜ im at peace with being mad

Feb 06, 2025

I’ve unfortunately found myself doing inner child work once again.

The volatile healing that is moving back home (unwillingly) and breaking apart the family tree inside me. Its branches curling & twisting like DNA in my cellular memories. I feel that I’ve been collecting all these old leaves of patterns & behaviors. For what?

Safety.

Protection.

A semblance of familiarity.

Even a good collection needs a subconscious sweep every now & then.

I’ve realized there’s a surface-level chiropractic adjustment to evolve without bringing little you into the healing too.

Little me is so angry. Little me turned into big me that became too nice from all the anger she was suppressing.

I truly believe that most women are not inflamed from seed oils, oxidative stress, or whatever else is prescribed to our brains. I think most women are ablaze from being told it isn’t okay to be irate.

The life force of anger is a sign of the artist.

When I see a client or a friend angry, I encourage it to dance, swivel, and let it run as it intends to move you, not keep you stuck.

It’s a sign of health when it’s not bottled up or treated like a monster (it never was; you never were one, either).

It’s a brilliant momentum that would frighten even the most powerful individual from our upbringing.

We can’t have that, can we?

I became a murderer of my anger. Never allowing it to live because I would fear that the illumination of my rightful outrage would kill me first.

It would put me into childhood imprisonment. A jail cell that teaches you to be good, never say the thing that would spark discomfort, and do not (repeat), do not express your God-given right to share displeasure. This would be a life sentence.

To be a serial killer of your inner child’s feelings is to be a wanted criminal to your adult self.

You’re out here looking for the suspect, but you keep finding the evidence of yourself traveling through space & time.

I’ve had to painfully let go of needing to frame my parents for the multiple murders of my anger growing up.

They created the environment for the little me to begin the murder mysteries; however, It’s 31-year-old me still standing with the knife to any small moment of agitation.

I have found peace in being mad.

I’ve dropped my need to execute any sign of irritation because it doesn’t want to die: it wants to regenerate. Irritation is your greatest invitation for creation.

As a creative, anger & annoyance are some of my most valuable tools in shapeshifting my work. I use it to create new efficiencies, re-structure old systems (internally & externally), and evaluate what could be more “me.”

Wherever I’m pissed off in my work, I find new pathways of joy, originality, and play.

I find that anger is incredibly useful & supportive when you are self-employed, freelancing, or doing some kind of project solo.

I question those who demonize frustration in business because I only see it as emotional expansion. It’s not the anger itself that is the blockage; it’s not letting anger be the catalyst that it desires to be. That is the greatest creative block of all!

There’s still some weird mojo around being angry and sharing your rage. Maybe it’s still not the timeline where we accept it as a friend instead of an enemy.

I don’t know when that timeline will be, but I’m not a fan of quantum-jumping that one. Why? Because anger deserves your micro-moments. I want you to consider that there are precious emotions in this life that don’t require (or crave) to be transformed in .5 milliseconds. Anger wants to be wined and dined.

Frustration wants to be romanced.

Irritation wants to be seduced, not left for a quick fuck.

I hope you get wrathful at the seams of your work.

I encourage you to use anger as an organic force for inception (not stagnation).

I want you to see that the fear of keeping your frustration alive is what keeps it alive.

It wants to be reused and repurposed into something much grander.

May your fury become the most diligent assistant to your inventions, dreams, and visions.

A rewriting on anger for the swirly human, creative, and self-employed being.

☉

sierra

subliminal shift ∘

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