Hello, beautiful beings. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve served tea here. The lounge has been quietly closed as many aspects of myself come to a close.
It seems pertinent to tell you I’m sitting at this desk half-naked. That’s what this season has felt like. Half full into my future plans, putting on my adult pants, half feeling completely bare to what these future plans have planned for me.
Today I’m offering you a contemplation in a cup. A ponder on where you are not allowing yourself to die.
Death.
How does this combination of letters serve you? Where do they enslave your greatest teachings? Where does it free you? How does the subtle touch of this word caress your bones?
It’s a loaded concept. One of our deepest, ancestral fears is the fear of dying. The fear of change. The fear of not living on purpose. To die without fully living.
I’ve sat with the idea of death for most of my life- I was that one weird kid fascinated with the cycle of where things go and how they come to life. I asked God as a 6-year-old to allow me to see all of the eras before me once I died. Mostly because I wanted to see history for what it truly was and to also indulge in my goal of meeting Abraham Lincoln.
The most common way to avoid death is to put yourself in a box. To blindly adopt a philosophy, belief system, sphere, or niched space. I’m not saying these things equate to death, but I am saying that anything that becomes dogma for you does numb your fear. It’s a lubrication in meeting your depth.
Winter always brings me gifts in the form of death. It’s a time when I close the curtains and light an internal candle.
I illuminate where I have been hiding from myself this past year and where I want to bloom for Spring.
I truly don’t believe that you must live according to the moon’s rules for planting new seeds or harvesting your bounties. A big death for me has been tossing out any form of scripture that refuses to be questioned. It shows me where I deter from questioning myself. A practice that is the most instrumental to my evolution as a human.
Paramahansa Yogananda always traveled when the stars said directly not to. He went completely against astrology wishes with success, which I’ve always admired.
What is your current mythology that requires rebirth?
Could be your relationship with money, the story you tell yourself about business, where you want to be next, the idea of disappointing others, or the people you follow on IG.
We have such resistance to killing off parts of ourselves for what is to come on the other side. What even is our subscription to death? For most of us, it surely does not make us feel alive.
The universal truth in death is that it requires growth.
Every minuscule & grandiose event that unfolds on your path is designed as an invitation to either evolve or stay the same.
A deep-rooted fear in you and me is that growth. We secretly don’t want to stretch.
Our psyche wants to stay the same; however, that is where we reach the ah ha! Our genetic matrix was orchestrated to evolve. To move. To bend time. To transcribe biophysical data into a magic that is inconceivable to our current timeline.
It is that death that gives us what we want. To bring in what the soul calls for- the soul that knows it has no expiration date. The soul that has been here before and after the big bang. The soul that initiated the big bang of you in your mother’s womb.
The soul has alchemized the concept of expiry.
When we are disconnected from the soul, we feel like we are going to die. It is with death that we commence with the soul. We form a union with our deepest truths once we allow the internal departure to take place.
This is why doing things that are not in alignment with you feels “soul-sucking.”
We fear the death of ourselves yet it’s this fear that only supports us in staying stagnant. It’s death that sparks new life.
It feels like you are going to die when you make big changes or you are in the unknown abyss because we created the abstraction of death. You’re really in the process of living.
Dying is creation.
Dying is regeneration.
Dying is the most organic superfoody yoni egg you will ever feel inside you.
It is a place in you that decomposes so growth can transpire.
I truly believe that the evolution of mushrooms teaches us this profound lesson. Fungi are long-lost distant cousins in the form of aliens. They have a purpose in death. They show us how this soulful process works.
Once again, nature is my guru of choice.
Death equates to life. Very simple, but also rich in intricacy and expansive exploration. That’s what this human thing has revealed the most to me thus far. I keep dying to find more life. I keep decaying in order to keep growing. I shed so that I can get closer to my soul’s truth. The truth is that I’ve been dying all along. Thank God.
I’ve been dying all along because my soul has no death. It only lives. I am starting to see that the notion of “I” is incongruent with my soul if I think it has a time stamp. Versions of me die so I can truly exist.
An aspect of health that really deserves some limelight is dying.
Allowing parts of yourself to perish is by far one of the healthiest things you can do for your entire internal database.
We simply can not achieve vitality without letting ourselves decay.
It can be the death of your body image or the death of finally unsubscribing to that email list.
Isn’t that what we are all after in wellness anyway? vitality? energy? longevity?
To create longevity is to create space for fatality.
A really unpopular bio-hack but it might be worth a shot.
Allowing various aspects of my personal world pass away has been far juicer than any sauna session or adrenal cocktail.
Health can be a lot closer than you think. You could actually hold the herbal apothecary inside you.
The one-for-all tonic will forever be you. All of the ingredients in that blend are what you unpack for yourself in this time & space.
May your cyclical concoction of death give your tastebuds the truest sensation of being alive.
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sierra
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“do not kill the part of you that is cringe, kill the part of you that cringes”
wisdom from a meme ✺
I cannot be lit the fuck up more than I am reading each and every verse of this one. ☠️ 💀 Whewww. If only I had more friends on my fractal that loved the abyss like this. 👁️💫 It makes me giddy to see you in these words.🪞 Thank you 1000times for this beautiful reminder to keep composting. 🌱 Love u in all your fatality.